Thank god it's Friday!

Time for some whores at the American Bar!

Apparently if you're in Brazil the whore house is also known as an American Bar! :D

the central

Si! Es el central!


(elcentral in swedish = electrical box)

this beer tastes old

dusty even...
Here i am in Barcelona enjoying a cerveza for my siesta!
I guess the Spanish brewery S.A. Damm didn't realize that damm means dust in Swedish.

Love hurts!

Noooo I'm not gonna cry about my broken heart to you, but just the other day when Max and I saw a tough guy on the subway with a neck tattoo it reminded me of something...

His tattoo was the Japanese symbol for love, which is ai in Japanese (pronounced like the pronoun I)

Too bad the same pronunciation in Swedish (spelled aj) means

OUCH!

Here's another person who if they got their tattoo in Sweden was either saying ouch or love while getting it. Aj aj aj aj!

kisses and puss and urine and smooches

Kisses and smooches....

or puss and urine! 

Same thing really!!

Dictionary

The English word kiss in Swedish means urine

The word puss in Swedish means smooch

If you're not a native English speaker, puss is that gross white stuff that comes out of an infected sore.

Eww!

Lusting for Koch in Berlin

 

Kochlust!

He just wants some new gadgets.

Not those kind of gadgets!!! Kitchen gadgets!

Dictionary:

koch - cooking

lust - desire

What the fuck ass dick!

Well, I never said entries couldn't be swear words in two different languages...

Maybe you've had the pleasure of visiting Italy and hearing someone say

VAFANCULO!

If you were from Sweden this would be even more vulgar since va fan! means what the fuck!

Culo means ass in Italian, unfortunately it doesn't mean anything in Swedish.

A friend of mine came to visit and asked what my cat's name is, Kattson I said!

Well, he is from Italy and he though that I proudly stated that my cat's name was cazzo (pronounced sort of like catso), which means dick in Italian. (Hey some guys are named/nicknamed Dick!)

A lot of people don't like Kattson because she's kind of crazy.

Vafanculo Kattson!!!

So what have we learned? Va fan = what the fuck! Culo =  ass, and Cazzo = dick

Cazzo (aka Kattson)

I wouldn't trust this bank with my money...

I was recently in Northern Cyprus when my mom and I saw a sketchy bank, the halkbank! 

Halk means slippery in Swedish.

someone's got a foot fetish

In Swedish fötter means feet...

In Italian fottere means to fuck.

www.WHAT?.com

After ending up at lots of porn sites, I discovered some websites who don't realize the gold heap of a domain name they are sitting on!

www.runka.com

Environmentaly friendly products, because runka is natural!

www.chinchin.com

Chinese restaurants with locations in west hollywood, beverly hills, and more!

and the absolute best for last...

www.bajs.com

"mega site of bible studies and information"

Dictionary

runka: Swedish for masturbate

chinchin: Japanese slang for penis

bajs: Swedish for poop

A lot of people think Budweiser tastes like piss...

.... but in Jämtland and Norway, it tastes like SHIT!

In Jämtska, the dialect of the province where my Swedish family comes from (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamtlandic), bärs means beer.

BUT in Norway bärs means poop!

I'm torn... Should I choose the penis flavored denture adhesives, or the vagina flavor?

Don't you wish your denture adhesives could make you feel young and sexy again?

Kukident and Fittydent will take care of that for you!

 

 

By now, we should all know from previous posts what kuk and fitta means in Swedish but for those who forgot...

Kuk = penis

Fitta = vagina

When Swedes and Lithuanians meet, it doesn't just rain... It golden showers!

Today my friend Asta from Lithuania were talking about a previous blog entry about my uncle's dog Shikko who's name means to poop in Lithuanian and pee in Japanese. That got her thinking about the word pissa, which mean to pee in Swedish. Coincidentally, it means to fuck in Lithuanian!

Pigs can count!

The sound that swedish pigs make is "nöff nöff."

French for 9 is neuf, pronounced the same way!

kuken.com (the domain 'penis.com' was already taken)

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Last one to Bad Egg is a rotten egg!

I'm sure Bad Egg in Switzerland is a lovely town, really!

BOOOOO! This band is shit.

Ok, so I did find one mix up while in Mali, I wouldn't go as far as saying that it's hilarious, but it was funny.

While waiting 5 hours for the ferry to go to Timbuktu I asked the driver in my extremely limited French how to say this thing I was pointing at on the ground, which was some animal poop, in Bambara.

BOO!

So next time someone sucks and you boo, if they speak Bambara they will know you think they are shit... well, maybe.

This snus violated me!

After 2 weeks of traveling in Mali and searching for funny mix ups I am back home but don't have any funny African ones.... Oh well! Here's a Swedish one!

Some snus called Gothenburgs Rape!

Upon further inspection rapé means something like shredded in French but I still wouldn't have named my product after it.